Gonna be a long, hard road ahead...

I have to get in touch with the V.A. pretty soon to see if I can get my medical records from Carswell and possibly Ft. Gordon. That's going to take awhile. I also need to get my records from Richardson Medical where I had my back surgery back in '87 (hopefully they still have them, at least on microfilm). My doctor is going to.schedule me for an MRI on my knees, hopefully soon.

My friend is going to handle the case on his own with some help from a contact in Social Security (which is why he needs my file). He's going to read it front to back, then the two of us will get together and go through it hoping to find something that will prove they made the initial denial back in 2006 based on inaccurate information. If we can get them to reopen and reexamine the case, that will be great. (It's completely at their discretion though... unfortunately, not even a judge can order them to do it.)

My friend is even willing to call Washington in hopes of finding a sympathetic ear to hear my case. I am going to owe him big time. I've already decided that if he actually pulls this off, I'm giving him 30% of my backpay, however much it is. (I think that's about how much I'd be paying a lawyer.) Not sure what I'll do if they refuse to take another look at the case. Probably take some of my savings and treat him to dinner, which is far too little thanks for all he's doing.

Thank you so much, Doug, and however it goes, you'll have my undying gratitude forever!

Talked to Social Security again...

... and again they said I can't get DAC under my original diagnoses. (They can't have me reevaluated based on those diagnoses... it's kinda like double jeopardy in a criminal case). BUT, my friend who's been helping me out thinks the rep we talked to may have given him a loophole.

See, I also suffer from severe depression, a complication of my disabilities. Wouldn't anyone be depressed if they couldn't work or get around well or do all the things you able-bodied folks can do?

Plus, from all the conversations I've had with them, it seems that they may have made their initial decision based on incorrect information, also. So that's another ace up my sleeve. It'll take a judge to determine that, though.

I just spoke to a representative from Coats and Todd (disability lawyers), and she promised that someone would get back to me in no more than a week to discuss whether they can help me. I hope they can.

Sorry I haven't updated...

But there hasn't been much to report that I haven't posted on facebook. I have an appointment at 5:00 today to go see the apartment in Plano (Sequoia at Courtney Manor). Wish I could post a link here... from the description and pix on forrent.com, it looks/sounds about perfect! It's 1bed/1 bath, but the bedroom is big, the living/dining area is huge, and it has a full kitchen! (It's 1,017 sq.ft.) There are two walk in closets, a fireplace, and a balcony or a deck (depending on whether you're upstairs or down... with my knees and back in the shape they're in, I prefer downstairs).

I was going to wait until I was sure I'd be getting my benefits to actually look at apartments, but I feel really good about getting them. (Those of you who know me may know or remember how resilient I am.) I have a couple of friends who are going to help me apply, and they'll help me appeal if necessary. I'm going to try to get a hold of as many of my medical records as I can. My current doctor has the x-rays I had taken a couple of weeks ago, and she can confirm my disability. (Not sure if she can tell from the x-rays how long ago my surgery was, though.)

I'm hoping it won't take long to get approved. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen. I'll keep everyone updated...

This wasn't supposed to happen...

I feel like the powers that love to fuck me over are laughing hysterically right now. I was supposed to file my claim today and even if I was denied, my lawyer was going to appeal. Come to find out, even if I do file, since I filed back in 2006 and was denied (apparently I wasn't "disabled enough" or some such shit), I'll just be denied again. I'm the one who lives with back and knee pain, not them! Why do they get to decide if I'm able to work or not?! Everyone I talk to KNOWS I'm disabled... they can literally hear it.

You know, I would actually love to work. But no one will hire me! I've tried to get a job, believe me. I have skills, I'm intelligent, and if there's something I don't know, I know how to open my mouth and fucking ASK. But people listen to how I talk, maybe see how I stand and walk, and I never get called back for an interview. Do you know how much that sucks? Not only that, it's damned hurtful. Okay, I'm slow (physically, at least), but I have a lot to offer an employer. Give me a fucking chance and I'll prove it.

There's so much I want to do, and $700+/month doesn't allow me (or anyone else) to do much. I'm saving as much as I can, but I'm only allowed to save $2,000. If I was on DAC, I could save a million dollars. $2,000 vs unlimited... what would any of you choose? You can do a hell of a lot more with unlimited funds than you can with $2,000. I could take a vacation every year if I wanted, go to Styx concerts, whatever.

I just want to be able to have a good... no, a better life than what I'm living now. Yeah, I'd still have to budget. I'd have to make choices... would I rather spend my money on A or B? But I'd be able to make better choices with more money. (Say, I could afford a hotel room AND get souvenirs at the Styx concert instead of choosing one over the other.)

And the housing thing. As long as I'm only on SSI, I'm pretty much stuck here where I am. I can't afford anything better. I can get on regular Section 8 (right now I'm in a special program for people with physical and/or mental disabilities, but 1. they're not taking applications right now, and 2. I want a place that's (sorta) my own (I'd still be paying rent to someone). I don't think I'm asking for too much, do you?

Well, I've gone on long enough. I needed to vent, and this is way too long for a Facebook status update. If you've made it this far, I thank you for reading! I do appreciate all who read my blog, whether you leave feedback or not.

And apologies for the profanity. Sometimes it just feels good to drop an f-bomb here and there... lol.

More eager than ever to be on DAC

I found the perfect apartment in La Grange Park, IL (a suburb of Chicago). 2 bedrooms from $800 and it's pet-friendly! The town has a population of a little over 13,000 people (almost twice the size of the town I lived in before moving to Dallas). I'll have to go up and see the place for myself before I make any decisions, of course, but as of right now it looks like I've found my new home.

I would like to go up there in December or January to get a taste of what the winters are like. I'm not ignoring the fact that I have arthritis in both knees, so I have to be mindful of that. I do plan on getting a Hoveround chair for when I'm not able to get around well. I also want to buy a cane/walking stick to use too.

Please, God, let me get these benefits!

Looking for a place of my own

Well, I won't be moving in with my friend after all. So if and when I get my DAC benefits, I'll be saving up to get my own apartment. There's a place right down the street I'm considering called CityVue, and I plan to stop by the leasing office next time I'm out and about to ask about them.

I'll also consider a townhouse if I can find one for $500-$600/month. I wouldn't mind moving up north of here, say Plano, if I can find an inexpensive place. I'll have to get an apartment guide and see what's available. Of course I could move out to Irving too. Or move back to Ft. Worth/Richland Hills. I can ride the TRE back and forth to visit my friends here.

Or I could save my money and find a place out of state. My friend Nessa lives in New Orleans; maybe she could help me find a place there. I've always wanted to visit. It's such a beautiful old city, rich in history and culture (those parts of it that weren't destroyed by Katrina, anyway).

Or I might could go to Chicago. Yes, the winters are brutal, but still it's a lovely city, and I've been wanting to go there (to visit) for quite awhile, too. I do need to research the cost of living where ever I decide to go... don't want to live anywhere that I'll spend all my money just on expenses.

All this is just pie in the sky fantasizing at this point, though... I don't even have my appointment to file my claim until Tuesday. And even then it could be months before I hear anything, and even then I could be denied. (If I am, though, I'll appeal it.)

We'll just have to wait and see...

Finally have an appointment

with Social Security. It's on Tuesday of next week (phone appointment). I am sooo relieved! I think it'll be a few months before I find out if I've been approved or denied, but in the event that I am denied, my attorney is willing to take my case all the way to a hearing. That's a huge relief, too.

Can it be next Tuesday now? lol

On the phone w/ SSA

I'm trying to schedule an appt to apply for my benefits, but there's not one to be found.  :'( I did find out that the normal length of time between filing and the decision (approved or denied) is approximately four months (for SSDI). For DAC, it will probably be shorter, thank goodness... unless, of course, I'm denied, lol. I do need to find out if my lawyer will be willing to handle my appeal in the event that I'm denied. If not, I guess I better start thinking about who I want to be my new lawyer...

Well, that's all for now. I have my appt for my X-rays on Monday, and then on Wednesday I have to see my PCP to get the results of my labwork and find out if I'm diabetic or not. (What fun!) I need to make sure my lawyer has all her (doctor's) info so she can get my medical records from her (I am so glad my lawyer's getting paid on a contingency basis; I shudder to think how much this would cost me per hour! I'd be paying for years to come! lol)

So as of now, the waiting game. I just hope I don't have to wait too long, though...

Talked to my lawyer

I gave her my dad's social security number and she's going to call and see if she can set up a phone appointment for us. The first lady I talked to there on the first said that as far as she could tell I have a pretty good case, but we'll see. I just hope my lawyer doesn't have a huge problem getting my medical records. God knows where they are.

I'll be posting more when I hear more...

Musings...

As I said in my Facebook status update yesterday morning, I called a disability attorney who is going to try to see if she can get me my DAC benefits. If she does, I'm going to start saving up money so I can get an apartment away from here. I really want out, and I can continue saving money for when my roommate and I are ready to buy our house (yes, we're going to do the "rent-to-own" thing). At this point, I really don't care where we live, whether we stay in Texas or move out of state. I just want to leave.

Some things I'd love to have for the new place: nice furniture (we both have bedroom stuff, but we need living, dining, and kitchen stuff); I want my bedroom and bath (if we have 2 bathrooms) to be decorated in shades of purple (plum, lilac, orchid, that type of thing). She prefers peach and burgandy... she'd like burgandy for the living room. I wonder if we could add some peach and purple accents? I guess we could go to some kind of furniture showroom and get some ideas. She suggested awhile back that maybe we could go to Lowe's or somewhere and get some stick-on borders (with her asthma, we can't do any painting). I wonder if there is any such thing as wallpaper you can just stick on? I mean stuff you don't need paste to put it up. That would also be a good thing. (Don't want her having an attack because of the fumes.)

Also, I want to save up to buy some new clothes (even if they're only new to me, i.e., from Goodwill). I have some nice things that I'll be taking with me, of course, but I want some new pants (as of now, I only have two or three pairs that fit). And if we end up moving up north (Seattle or Minneapolis), I'll need some good cold weather clothes (sweaters and coats and such. Don't forget the long johns, either! :-)) And I want some new sheet sets. I have a few sheets, but I want to be able to change my bed more than a couple of times a week. Maybe I'll sell my current bed and save up for a full size? That way Alaska and I will both have room. (Yes, she sleeps with me.)

I also need a dog carrier and a bed for her. I'd like to be able to take her to the dog park (there's one at White Rock Lake, I think, off of Mockingbird), and the only way my counselor (onsite) will take me is if she's in a carrier. Which is understandable. If we ever got into an accident, she could be hurt, and I'd be devastated.  George understands that she's my baby (he has dogs, too, and I bet he feels the same way about them), and how it would tear me up if anything happened to her, especially if I could have prevented it. So when I get my check next month, I'm going to Petsmart (there's one on Greenville, not too far from where I live) and price carriers and beds.

..............

Yay! I just went to Amazon, and they have a purple zebra stripe pet carrier for $39. I'm going to get it! (I hope shipping isn't too much...) So next month I can go to the dog park and let Alaska run around and play with the other dogs. I'm happy now! :-)

Not good news, but I can take care of it

I went to my appointment today, and guess what? They couldn't find a trace of my dad in the computer. I gave the lady his name, his birthdate, birthplace, my grandmother's maiden name... nope, not there. WTF? I called the lady in charge of the DFW Airport retirement plan (whatever they call it) and asked her to call me back with his social security number. (I hope they have it.) Now I just have to wait...

I also found out the correct terminology for what I'm applying for... it's Disabled Adult Children's benefits. Now I don't have to give the lengthy explanation the next time I have an appointment.

I have a doctor's appointment at the end of next month. I'm going to try to get a full physical exam (I expect Social Security will want proof from a doctor that I have the disabilities that I say I do. Of course they know I have cerebral palsy and scoliosis, but I also have arthritis, emphysema, and bipolar disorder, all of which I was diagnosed with after I was approved for SSI.) So I guess sometime in March I'll go back to Social Security and apply for DAC benefits. Hopefully I'll be able to get them.