Friday, February 15, 2013

A little bit upset right now...

I usually don't write much about my family (at least not the stuff that upsets me), but I'm going to break that rule this once.

I just found out from my aunt that my cousin (not her son) has been in the hospital for over four months with a very serious illness. I spoke to one of my brothers a few weeks ago, and he told me our cousin was in the hospital, but he didn't say how serious it was! He's on dialysis and has had some other operations. I also found out that all three of my brothers and sisters-in-law have been up to see him and I wasn't invited or even told! What, I don't have a right to visit him?! *Sigh* Reminds me of when my aunt died and I didn't find out until long after the fact. I've been estranged from my brothers for a number of years (due to some stuff that I did, I'll admit that). I'm only in semi-regular contact with one of them; the other two I only see/talk to at Christmas every few years (don't know if that'll change now that my younger brother, who hosts our get-togethers at his home is retiring from the Navy.

I'd love to be closer to them. They're the only immediate family I have left. (No offense to my aunt and cousins. :-)) Maybe when my roommate and I get our house, I can have them over for dinner. (If we're still in Texas, that is. I don't know how we'll work things if I move out of state.) It'll be hard, because while we're all in the same state for the first time in years, my youngest brother is in Richland Hills, my middle one is in San Antonio, and my oldest one (I believe) is in Keller. And of course I'm in Dallas. So I don't know. I don't know if they all want a relationship with me, or if they just want one at a distance. If that's the case, then I guess I'll have to accept that. I'd like to have them know that I've grown up and changed a little bit. I have no idea if they've seen any of my blog entries or anything. Maybe I'll send them a link to it. Yeah, some of what I write is pretty superficial (what I want to spend money on, and stuff like that.) But I also write about deeper stuff, and I want them to know that I have strong feelings and opinions about what's going on in the world.