I read a comment that my friend left on one of my status updates a few days ago, and she said "I" may be moving in two weeks. *I* not *we*! Of course I'm happy for her, but why can't I get a break?!?! I've had two opportunities to get out of here (two different friends offered to be my roommate) and both times things fell through. The more I think about leaving, the more unbearable staying here becomes. I WANT OUT!!!!! WHY CAN'T THINGS WORK OUT THE WAY I WANT THEM TO?!?! I've been trying to reach my friend to see if there's a way we can still be roomies, but she's not answering my calls or calling me back.
I kinda felt this way when I went to see Styx in Indiana two days after my birthday. The friend I went to the concert with had a third row seat and I was stuck in the 17th row. I thought, it's my birthday... I paid for the ticket, I paid to come up here, *I* should be the one in the third row!!! (For some reason the ushers wouldn't let me move up, either!) Entitled? Yes. But I'd been waiting for so long to see them, I really wanted to get the whole experience, and most of the fans that I'd met through MySpace or Facebook who were there were close to the front, and I wanted to be with them. I didn't know any of the people around me.
The point is, I feel like things hardly ever work out for me, and I wonder why??? I'm not a bad person, but I feel like I'm being punished somehow by having this awesome opportunity dangled in front of me, and then it gets snatched away!
*Sighs* Okay, rant over... for now. Sorry if I brought anyone down with this post. It's not very cheerful.
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